You hear it on the radio. You see it in the movies. You even congratulate your best friend on finding her Mr Right. But why does it seem there’s double standards with regards to being single? What does the Bible say about being single and lonely?
It may be because it is a deliberate choice. You simply can’t be bothered with the horror stories you hear from the closest person you know. Heartaches? Uh-oh. Or maybe the deep-seated pain you felt from your biggest heartbreak made you so reluctant with trying again in that world called the love department. You are better off being single. But no matter the decisions you have set your mind to, there will always come moments where you doubt yourself. It maybe because the human instinct is to be coupled up – to have someone to come home to, to grow old with, to share things with. When being lonely seem like so easy for you to do, believe me, even the most optimistic does. How do you combat these thoughts?
Here are insights from the timeless truth to guide you on your journey to living a single contented life, arming yourself with faith and authenticity when pessimistic thoughts battle your way.
The Lord Will Strengthen and Help You
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
You may be single but you are definitely not alone. You have the greatest champion rooting for you. Yes, times of loneliness is but a given, you certainly hope for a perfect world but it will not happen in this lifetime. The cross of desolation is but something singles needs to bear. A simple fact of life.
What single people fail to see is that these moments of loneliness is actually a gift – it is an opportunity to get to know yourself, to learn how strong you really are, to depend on no one but yourself for your happiness. A little loneliness goes a long way in creating a richer, deeper, more vibrant and colorful you.
Change your focus. Instead of looking at the happy things you see from your married counterpart, they have the husband and the 2.5 kids and the white picket fence, but they don’t have what singles still have – a blank canvas.
Embrace your singleness and yes, even the loneliness that comes with it. It is your launching pad that will bring you to your greatest potential. It is often in your loneliest times that God speaks the loudest. Listen to His call. The only constant you can ever trust. He will always be there for you, for your own good and for a great future He has always planned for you.
The Lord Cares Far More Than You Imagine
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7
Yes, you are single. But that doesn’t mean your relationship status becomes symbolic of your status in life. Being single doesn’t synonymously mean being desperate. Putting a ring on it doesn’t necessarily mean a woman has more value and worth.
This one is for you, who are brave enough to go against the grain. You, who choose what kind of life you are going to lead instead of having it handed to you. You, who believe in love but also believe in yourself. You, who have looked settling down in the eye and walked away. You, who know your worth better than to accept a life less than the one you deserve.
Here is a champion for you. A defender for your seemingly lonely moments. When you feel weary and feels like everything is against you, when nothing seems to turn the way you want them to, you are never alone. May I say them again? You are definitely not alone. Your Advocate is looking out for you. He cares for you so much more than you can imagine.
The Lord Your God is With You Wherever You Go
“Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
There are a lot of things that make you stress over. Sometimes you might not even realized you are being anxious. Most, go through life on autopilot and might not ever really stop to see what your body is telling you. You sometimes hunched up in a tight ball of tension, abs are clenched as if poised for battle, without even knowing why.
Anxiety is an all-time high as you deal with threats of terror alerts, soaring gas prices, unemployment rates, deadlines, obligations and even, traffic jams. How do you deal?
Sometimes it’s okay to just let go, relax into life. Float and let God carry you, trusting that He is the ultimate life raft. Breathe. Exhale. Relax. Trust. Stop holding your breath and allow life to take your breath away. You can surrender. You can let go. Life may not turn out the way you originally plan but that’s just part of life. But then again, life may surprise you. It may actually turn out better than you expected. And either way, the best approach in this life’s journey is to truly believe that whatever happens, God is in control. He knows what you need long before you actually know it yourself. Your capacity not to worry about things you think will not turn your away is directly proportionate to the way you perceive who God is.
Stop worrying and start trusting. Remember, God is faithful. He knows what you are capable of. There are so many things that could turn out wrong for you and there are so many things that could turn out right. In any case, the same amount of energy is expended.
What does the Bible say about being single and lonely? Why worry when you can pray!
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13