At long last, the woman you are interested with finally said yes when you asked her out. Congratulations! You are now on your journey to your happily ever after – that is what I would like to say. The end of your singlehood will not exactly bring you to a rosy place. Instead, you will encounter endless moments of restraining yourselves and reconciling individual differences. Too much passion is deceptive and you may experience the same pitfalls our brothers found themselves later.
- Date Someone Who Shares the Same Faith
The Bible gives a strong command in marrying someone into the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:39) and avoiding falling in love with someone who does not share the same belief (2 Corinthians 6:14).
“I will convert her to a Christian later.”
Trust me, I know a lot of people who said the same line then they struggled with keeping their faith later. While the Church encourages winning non-believers, dating someone who does not believe in God is akin to dangerously playing with fire. If she becomes a Christian, then that is great! What will happen if she did not? The Bible has its share of cautionary tales about believers who gravely sinned later because of their non-believing partners.
- Resist From Too Much Physical Intimacy
Contemporary dating dictates engaging in sexual activities is totally okay. Polygamous relationship is also cool because you are still not yet married. Scoring the home-run on your first date is great! Then how about Christian teachings that were supposed to be ingrained in you in the first place? Well, there are times I am also at the verge of wanting to do things with my girlfriend beyond what are allowed in the Bible. Things that feels good must be right, isn’t it? Wrong.
What I am trying to say here is that no one’s above the other in this aspect. There are moments we really need to read His words more. The Bible serves as the shield from our wordly desires (Eph. 6:10-20).
- Put God as the Center of Your Relationship
Seek God first and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33) and your relationship will bloom. Pray when you are about to make a major decision. Talk to Him when the two of you have problems to hurdle. Nonetheless, God also brings help in the form of your circle of friends. Ask for piece of advice, especially with the elders since they have been through what the two of you are experiencing right now.
If you are a teen and it is your first time with dating, perhaps you really need to seek your parents’ approval first (Ephesians 6:2). Remember that you are yet to mature emotionally and adolescence is frankly a moody phase in one’s life.
- Be Proactive
Lastly, you must take command of the relationship without coercing her to follow your wants. As men, our role is to be the spiritual leader. Encourage one another, exercise maximum patience and never stop practicing what you read in the Bible (1 Thessalonians 5:14). Both of you should grow in the course of relationship by talking your problems and asking life advice with one another.
On the other hand, waiting for signs is good but take the initiative in times of uncertainty. You have the Bible on your back. Do not be afraid to make choices. Are things not working out despite multiple compromises? Perhaps it is time to save yourself and end the relationship. Dating should have marriage as the end in mind but you must also keep your Christian faith intact. If you think you are losing yourself for the worse, pull the plug and seek God more.
For other Christian dating advice, never confine yourselves in your own world once the two of you start dating. Your family, friend and your church will play a great role to keep your relationship healthy. Fortunately, other aspects of modern dating are also applicable with Christian dating. Do you want your relationship to play out like a romance film? Why not? Just make sure you are doing things that are allowed as fellow believers.