All things have its purpose. Everything has its own set place. Looking around your home, you can see a lot of items with their specific purpose. Your dining table is for eating. Your settee is for sitting. The windows are for ventilation. But when things did not fulfill their specified intent, chaos may happen.
When your dining chair has a broken leg, it is now unprofitable. It will not be valuable for sitting anymore. It will fill up worthwhile space without fulfilling its purpose in the house, as a sitting instrument. All the members of your household, even your visitors, need to be careful not to sit in that particular chair to avoid any accidents.
Here is a food for thought: If we do not live our lives the way God purports it to be, without meaning to, we can do harm more than we can envision. Just as specific items in our lives have their own purpose, so is the men in our lives purportedly placed by our Father to fill the bill from which they were created.
We all have heard about the inside joke on “who wear the pants in the family,” as if leadership in one’s home is a laughing matter. In the onslaught of the new era, men and women’s role in our society and our home is being reevaluated. A lot of men are becoming insecure and confused with their roles. They do not know how to act, the way they should have, the way they were originally purported to be. As a consequence, either they do not lead effectively or worst case, they do not even try.
What then are the Christian husband responsibilities? How do men fulfill their purpose the way God originally purports?
A Husband Should Lead Her Family
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” – Ephesians 5:21-24
A husband’s role in the Bible commences with leadership. It is evidently written in the timeless truth that a husband must be the leader of his home. Leadership is one’s ability to influence others effectively. Simply put, a husband’s biblical role is to influence his family. God placed utmost responsibility with regards to the household on the shoulders of a husband.
However, please do not confuse leadership with being a dictator. Husbands are not dictators, they should neither demand nor rule over their wives. “Head” does not mean male superiority, where a man commands a woman and demands total obedience to all his whims. Rather, their influence over their wives and families should be in accordance with biblical teaching. A husband’s voice and actions should exemplify attributes that glorify God and provides value to his spouse and family.
You will know if you have effected a good influence over your family. A strong, spiritually mature and confident wife and family emerges as the fruit of a Biblical-based husband’s leadership.
A Husband’s Responsibility Is To Love His Wife Unconditionally
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” – Ephesians 5:25
A husband’s absolute acceptance of his wife should never be based whether she did a good performance but should be based on her worth as a gift from God. Loving your wife unconditionally entails filling her emotional tank full. Your wife should never second guess whether your affection is absolutely centrally focused on her. You need to affirm her constantly. Let her know that she is the only woman for you, that you love, value and respect her. Additionally, love should never be communicated only by lip service but more importantly through your actions. Spending quality time with your wife, listening to her, being mindful of her practical needs and going to places she likes are all parts and parcels of your love.
“Let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:18.
A Husband Should Be Faithful To Her Wife
“[The] Lord was a witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth” – Malachi 2:14-16
Your marriage is a covenant relationship, both the husband and wife promised to be faithful to one another. It means that your relationship entails having and showing a lifelong commitment to each other. The husband’s “I do” in his marriage vow towards his wife emphatically means an “I don’t” to all other women.
How does a wife know that her husband is faithful to her? Here are some telltale signs:
- Your husband follows through. A faithful husband follows through with what he says he will do, small or large things notwithstanding. If your husband says something and he consistently does, is a pretty good indication that you can readily trust his word.
- Your husband is happy to see you. Of course, this is not always the case. There will be bad moments that seeing you do not erupt happy feelings from your husband and vice versa. Your relationship will never be perfect. Nevertheless, your husband should generally be happy seeing you at the end of the day.
- Your husband does not keep any secret from you. Secrets destroy marriages whilst honesty keep it afloat.
- Your husband’s phone is not off limits. Having an “open policy” with regards to each other’s phone fosters a good trusting relationship with each other. Your marriage should not entail keeping secrets. Being open about everything is a good indicator of your husband’s faithfulness.
The lists above on Christian husband responsibilities are not conclusive. One thing a good husband should always remember is that during moments of doubts, where you have no idea how you are able to show your love and support to your wife, help is always available. Seek about God’s love for you written in His timeless truth. It is the pattern set before you on how to effectively show what a good husband originally purported to be.