Music serves a different purpose to you now. You tend to hear the songs about pain more than those songs about joy. Love songs for the heart broken. You can readily relate.
And you had your crying jams. That deep-seated tears, desperate tears, and tears of what-ifs and what-not. You have shared your pain, sometimes even overshared to anyone who would listen. Or maybe, you burrowed. You wallowed in self-pity that you can’t let yourself spend time with others. You felt like they won’t understand, so why bother?
You might even still communicate with your ex, send messages and even call him to let him know of your existence. Still. You feel stuck with your pain. You simply can’t let go.
We all can relate. One way or another we have had our hearts broken. That deep-seated pain that pierces us so deeply. When you are overwhelmed with the hurtful feeling of a love gone wrong, how do you move on? How do you let go and move forward the right way? The way God intends for you to do.
The Gift of Goodbye
It’s the person who exits our lives for no apparent reason. Someone we have loved, and invested our time, energy, affection, and trust in walks away and left us hanging with little or no explanation. Question ensues. Your what-ifs pile up. Overthinking becomes a burden.
Here is some nugget of truths to share with you: Stop trying to solve the mystery. Stop banging your head against the wall disguising your intention in that search for clarity. Stop looking for the why – and start looking for the good in goodbye. Believe me, it’s there.
The exit of someone (may it be that person whom we are deeply connected with) is your ticket to somewhere new, somewhere better, somewhere you need to be that you weren’t going to reach without losing some of the baggage. We need to realize that if a door closed, it’s because what was behind that wasn’t meant for you.
The only way to move forward is to let go of everything in your life that has passed its expiration date. Let go of your grievances (your anger, unforgiveness, and bitterness). Let go of your mindset, move beyond your insecurity, fear, and worry. Let go of your plans, sometimes we need to let go of our own plans to realize God’s greater purpose. And let go of your heartbreak. Don’t just let go of the person. Let go of the heartbreak they caused and the idea that you could have done something different to make them stay.
“For something new to arrive, something old has to go. Every goodbye introduces us to our next hello.” – Mandy Hale
Every Season Has A Reason
Winter, spring, summer and fall. There is something in the air, a paradigm shift when a season changes. I believe God created the seasons to remind us that nothing in life is permanent: not joy, not pain, not friendship and sometimes, not even love or that idea of who or what love is.
Here’s a food for thought. You cannot force someone to be in your life, no matter how badly you want him or her to stay. Change happens. Change is the only constant thing, as that old adage says. May it be things, people or even feelings. You can either cling to the past and continue to get stuck or accept your circumstances as they are. Say goodbye to anything or anyone that no longer has a place in your life.
Remember, if the love doesn’t last, it prepares you for the one that will.
Embrace the season you’re in, and when it’s time to let go, embrace your chance to begin again.
Grieve (for a time) then Leave
When a breakup happens, a lot of times, these are the words that you hear from people around you. “Keep your chin up.” “It’s his/her loss.” “Don’t give him/her the satisfaction of seeing you cry.” “Dry those tears, he/she doesn’t deserve them.”
You know they mean well. But the truth of the matter is, it is healthy and necessary to grieve the loss of someone that mattered to you when he/she exits your life. You cannot really truly heal from that wound until you allow yourself to really feel the loss, experience the pain and cry the tears that will cleanse your soul. But be careful you don’t wallow in self-pity and heartache for long, though. Feel the pain then get up and get on with it.
Part of being strong is allowing yourself to be vulnerable, to let down your walls and cry your tears of sorrow. Then you can look ahead to your tomorrow.
Cry for awhile, then leave your past behind.
A lot of times we think life requires our constant participation. We assume that in order for things to be done right, we have to do it ourselves. We even tend to think that God needs our help in figuring out the master plan of our lives. So we put matters into our own hand. We rashly make decisions and ultimately deal with the consequences of that blasted action.
But the crux of the matter is, He doesn’t need our help. He just needs us to show up, do what we can do, then let Him do what we can’t.
Sometimes just being still is the quickest way to get to our destination. Sometimes we look and continue to search for clarity that we completely miss out on the fact that a great deal of wildness and beauty of life is in the unknown.
The space between the question and the answer is a place of endless possibilities. So let go. Relax and let it all out. Whatever worry you have, whatever unanswered questions, let it all go.
Let the answers seek you. There will be a moment when the answers will come. For now, boldly live with the questions.