“She might be the most courageous woman I know. She possesses a wisdom that comes from surviving many broken hearts, possess that spark that comes from learning how to make an entrance into a room attended by no one but herself and having the confidence that states she is not afraid to fall. She knows that every time she fails, God is giving her another opportunity to get up and move up.”
Unfortunately, this is not what society tells us. People around us perceive being single as a prologue to your marriage life. As if life doesn’t happen until you start your own family. People question you – “Why you are still alone while your age keeps adding up? Still single in your thirties? Maybe there’s something wrong with you, maybe you are too picky or maybe you need to lower your standards.” Even the church teaches us to “prepare for marriage,” “wait for marriage,” and “pray for marriage.” But what about celebrating and honoring this juncture instead of grooming for the next phase of life?
What is it about the single journey that we need to celebrate for? Here are some quotes about this journey that will spark us to dwell on being “single and fab,” instead of being all too often labelled “single and desperate.”
“You don’t need a significant other to lead a significant life.”
Being happy on your single journey doesn’t mean you have already sworn off love nor does it mean you are ready to sign on the single blessedness adventure. It also does not mean that you have given up hope of finding your Mr Right. It just simply means that you don’t need to meet a handsome prince because your life is already awesome as it is.
Happily single means you refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but you define it yourself. It is holding out for the best and letting go of the rest. Living a significant life in this journey is like saying “I will and I can” to yourself before you say “I do” to someone else. Ultimately, it is a precursor to that someday when you do invite someone to join you on your sojourn, not because he completes it but because he will complement your life.
“When you live in the present, the past is forgotten and the future takes care of itself.”
There may be a lot of reasons why this is our current status in this phase of our lives. May it be because we just haven’t found that person who will make our heart pitter-patter yet. Or maybe we did but one way or another, circumstances happen, decisions were made that left us in this cliffhanger version of ourselves. And maybe you are the latter more than the former.
Hanging out in the past might feel very comfortable and safe to you but really, that is the riskiest thing for you to do. If you’ve been there and done that, isn’t it time to move on to a new destination? Do not waste your time thinking of the “could haves” because if it should have, it would have!
Everything that has happened to your life until now is part of a grand design to put you where you’re meant to be. Yes, even your heart pains. When you keep on staring on what’s behind you, you will miss out on all the incredible and astonishing sights in front of you. The past is over, no matter how much you revisit it, analyze it, sweat it, inquire about it or even regret it.
So live in the present. When you start to accept the past and all the intricate details that came with it, when you realize them as events that happened for you and not to you, life will open up in a surprising way.
Go ahead. Stop looking back and start celebrating what is!
There is beauty and magic and power in the now. The best gift you can ever give yourself is living fully in the present. The future might be a little too loose (for now) and the past a little too tight, but the present fits just right.
“Happiness doesn’t have to be chased. It merely has to be chosen.”
- “If I can only lose ten pounds, I’ll be happy.”
- “If I get this job, I’ll be happy.”
- “If the person I like notices me, I’ll be happy.”
- “But I haven’t fulfilled my dreams yet.”
- “But I still have so far to go.”
- “But he hurt me and broke my heart.”
Believe me, we can fill out more than ten pages worth of all our “ifs” and “buts”, dragging our happiness away! The crux of the matter is, no faraway, distant, magical future is going to suddenly flip the switch of happiness (that only happens in the movies). There is only the here and now. This moment. This hour. This day. Your fabulous, fantastical, wonderful life is staring you in the face, waiting for you to stop wishing it away and start living it. Sometimes we choose fear first, we choose self-pity first, we choose unforgiveness first… but the only way we are going to kick the “buts” out of our lives is if we vigorously, intensely, zealously choose happiness!
Often in life, we get so caught up with what we don’t have that we forget to be grateful for what we do have. We tend to be so busy giving our attention to all the unanswered questions, overthinking our ways of seeking and begging for answers to the past (and future) that we never take the time to simply be. To sit still and meditate just how beautiful life really is and how blessed we are to be a part of it.
Wherever you are in your journey, take a moment to stop and appreciate life. For love. For friends. For family. For faith. For another day. For new beginnings.
Your circumstances cannot control you as long as you choose happiness on the inside, regardless of what’s happening on the outside.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”